Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Why I am Glad My Kids Cried During The Fault in Our Stars

I took three teenagers to see The Fault in Our Stars, or TFIOS, last week.  I was not thrilled, but it was my soon-to-be thirteen-year-old daughter's greatest wish. Originally, it was just going to be the two of us - a girls' day, but we added my 16-year-old son and his girlfriend.  We ate at Chipotle first.  That was good.  So, TFIOS.  I read the book, of course, and was less than blown away.  I felt like I had missed something. It was a nice story, and I liked the characters for the most part.  They were a bit pretentious and know-it-all, but I think most of John Green's characters are like that.  John Green is kind of like that.  It's sad, and cancer sucks.  But, I was underwhelmed.  I think one of my English teacher friends summed it up well when she commented on my Goodreads review that teens have had such a small number of emotional experiences that a book like TFIOS really resonates with them and hits' em hard right in the heart.

While I was reading the book, and watching the movie, I couldn't help but take the parents' side. The movie doesn't really portray Hazel's mom the same as the book.  Laura Dern was pretty laid back and really let Shailene Woodley (or whatever her name is) do what she wanted to.  But the book mom was tough.  She loved her daughter and she was in charge of her.  Hazel is a teenager, after all, and teens shouldn't make some of the decisions they make.  I don't think any adult would argue with me on that.  I kept thinking, "Right on, Mom!  She shouldn't go to Amsterdam or spend all her time with that boy and not eat."  I am a mom.  I can't help but think like one and have empathy for other moms.

After we saw the movie (the sniffles were very loud throughout the theater), I kept thinking about why the teens were so sad.  And I remembered a couple of movies I saw as a teen and cried during.  A lot.  One was Lady Jane with Helena Bonham Carter.  It is about Lady Jane Grey who was Queen of England for about three days until her cousin Mary came back and Jane beheaded.  It was a love story too.  Cary Elwes plays her husband and they are sooo in love.  They both get their heads chopped off.  Perfectly romantic.  I sobbed watching that when I was a teen.  The other one was Stealing Home with Jodi Foster and Mark Harmon.  I went to see it with three of my friends and we couldn't stop crying on the way home.  That one was a little more than a love story; it was also a coming of age movie, and I think we all knew we were growing up.  What made me cry in those movies?  I was a hopeless romantic as a teen (really, I still am) and I had never had a boyfriend.  I couldn't imagine having someone to love and who loved me and then watching them die.  To teenage me, there could be nothing worse.

Fast forward to 42-year-old-me.  I've seen worse.  Life is hard, and full of losses.  Dads get cancer; moms get Alzheimers.  Children struggle and get made fun of and cry and get depressed.  Couples grow apart and separate, and the pain is like a knife in the heart.  It snows on Easter, and there's no money for Christmas.  The new position at work turns you into an outsider, and old friends become new enemies.  It's sad and sometimes bleak, and it often makes it hard to get up in the morning.  But it is life, and I wouldn't change a thing about the 42 years I've had so far. The bumps and bruises have only made me wiser, stronger and believe it or not, more hopeful.

I am glad my kids cried during The Fault In Their Stars because to me it means they haven't had to experience those really tough things in life yet.  They haven't lost my husband or me, and Christmas was still joyous. They have people in their lives who love them and care for them - family, extended family, friends, church family, teachers....the list goes on.  I know that they will eventually face darker challenges than the internet  going out, or losing the wrestling match, and even losing a grandparent.  That's okay.  It is part of life, and I hope I am teaching my kids that bumps and bruises hurt, but they happen and you can live through it.  With hope.  I'm saving their tears like ZuZu's petals...for a rainy day, to remind me that things can always be worse.


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Experience


When I Was One-and-Twenty

BY A. E. HOUSMAN
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
“Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.”
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
“The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
’Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.”
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.


When I was sixteen, the world was absolute. I would always have the same friends. Nothing would ever be as important to me as going out with my friends TONIGHT (and no tomorrow is not the same, Mother, the world revolves around right now!) I would always love the same things, and feel the same way, and there was no point in telling me anything different. I understood the cosmos at 16; surely I had seen it all.


As I grew up, I experienced a lot - love, marriage, death, loss, birth, joy, angst, betrayal, humility. We all do, right? Experience equals learning and learning comes with growing. It's all a beautiful cyclical process, and while I certainly do not understand the cosmos at all, I do think that this process is part of what it all means. I am in my 40's now, and I know only one thing with absolute certainty: there is no such thing as certainty.


E.L. Lockhart's newest book We Were Liars is, in a way, about experience. It is also about being 15, and knowing the cosmos as we only can during our early years. It is about absolutes, and the knowledge that comes when absolutes are challenged and lost. It is a book for teens, but it is also a book for adults.


As Shakespeare said in King Lear, “Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.” It is important to bring Shakespeare and old man Lear into this because to me, this book was very much a retelling of King Lear: an aging King rules over a vast, wealthy kingdom. He has three daughters who all want his kingdom. They fight, there is death, and loss. Experience reveals what once was absolute is seldom ever certain. The liars are Cadence, Mirren, Johnny and Gat, all Sinclairs except for Gat. The Sinclairs are old money, and own their own island just off of Martha's Vineyard. Granddad has three daugthers, who are the mothers of Cadence, Mirren, and Johnny. Gat is an extra, an outsider, as un-WASPish as they come. Grandmother Sinclair dies; three daughters vie for their father's attention, his money, his favor. Tempers rage, jealousies emerge, tragedy ensues.


As a narrator, Cadence is unreliable, and emotional. I was initially put off by her dramatic voice, but I realized how true it was for a teenage girl whose ideas are absolute: She will always love Gat. Her family will always be the same. She will do whatever it takes. Half-way through the book, the story changes. At first we are living with the Sinclairs, lazing on the beaches, living in one of the four houses on the island, saying only what each should, and never what we feel. It is summer 15 for the Liars - a seemingly endless repetition of rituals for the four teens who have never known change.


Then, there is an accident. Cadence is unsure, forgetting what happened. She is sheltered by her mother, and for a year, does not return to the island for the summer. She suffers migraines, and sends emails to her beloved Liars, only to be ignored. Why won't they talk to her? How did Gat forget their love? What was the accident that left Cadence so alone and in pain?


In summer 17, she returns to the island. Everything is different. All is flux. The Liars stay in Cuddledown, one of the four houses; Aunt Carrie walks the beaches at night. Granddad's beautiful old Victorian is gone, replaced by a glass and metal house that is not a home. Slowly, truth comes back to Cadence as she remembers what happened during summer 15. The climax is a quiet storm, a flash of light that reveals to Cadence the darkness of her youthful existence. The end of the book is full of uncertainties, lacks absolutes, but promises growth, endurance and sunlight.


I was breathless from the climax to the ending of this sweetly cruel book. Experience changes us all, growth leads to wisdom. Just wait for it to come.



“The weight of this sad time we must obey,
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne most: we that are young
Shall never see so much, nor live so long.”
William Shakespeare, King Lear



Thursday, February 27, 2014

Ch-ch-changes

What?!  It has not been over a year since I last posted!  Seriously.  Let this post remind all how very much can change in a year.
1.  My children are all a year older.  In adolescence, a year is a long time.
2.  My beloved mother is  spreading joy safely supervised  in a dementia unit.
3.  My husband was unemployed, and now employed in a job he enjoys.
4.  There was a pony in my pool.
5.  We are experiencing the third snowiest winter on record.
6.  I got a new job.

Okay, so let's focus on #6.  I got a new job.  I loved my former job - K-12 school librarian/HS English teacher.  I was in that school district for 20 years. My children go to school there.  I loved the people I worked with and my students.  I loved buying books with other people's money.  But one day in September, an email came about a job opening for an institution I admired and had always kept in the back of my mind as a home for my retired self.  So, I applied.  And I got an interview. Then, I had a second interview.  I got the job. I am now an ILibrarian (the I stands for Integration) at INFOhio, Ohio's PreK-12 Digital Library.  I work from my home, and travel locally about 5-6 days a month.  I love it.  I miss my students and my friends at my former school, but I do not miss the new Ohio teacher evaluation system, the testing we piled on students, and the frustration of the testing and evaluation system combined.  I do not believe I am alone in saying that this was a small part of the reason why I left teaching after 20 years.

Did I mention I miss buying books?  I am still reviewing, but I feel an emptiness in the results.  I have seriously considered making lists to buy just for fun. I have not done it yet, but I have thought that maybe somewhere, someone needs a book-buying consultant on the side.  That could be me. I haven't visited Net Galley in a while, but I was prompted to do so in search of a sequel to M.D. Water's Archetype which I received through Penguin's First Read's program.  It was such a great read, but more importantly, when I shared it with some of my older student readers, they loved it.  We can't wait for the sequel - I am hoping I can track down an ARC or galley somewhere!

 In my quest for Protoype I found Shirley by Susan Scarf Merrel, a fictional book about a young, married couple's brief stay with the author Shirley Jackson.  I have greatly enjoyed Shirley Jackson's writing.  The Haunting of Hill House is near the top of my scariest-books-ever list.  I taught it to my sophomore English classes, and I love exploring with them the psychological terror and uncertainty that Hill House evokes.  That scene in the bedroom and the walk in the garden....brrrr.  Still gives me the shivers.  Whatever walks in Hill House walks alone, and so does whatever walks in the home of writer Shirley Jackson and her scholarly husband Stanley Edgar Hyman.  The troubled marriage of two larger-than-life characters and their old, creaky, well-lived in home provides the setting for the book.  It takes place a few years before Shirley's sudden death at the age of 48, and is told from the viewpoint of young Rose Nesmer, whose husband Fred has come to be a teaching associate at the college.  Rose can only be 18 or 19 years old, and is incredibly naive, but likable.  She is pregnant, and finds herself attached easily to Shirley's big personality and her unpredictable moods.  Over the course of about 8 months, Rose finds herself both loved and hated by Shirley, but through it all, she remains enamored of the author.

What is most frightening about this book for me is not the underlying question of  Shirley's involvement in the death of a young college girl.  Hyman was good at sleeping with his students, and Shirley's instability is largely hinted to be due to his infidelity.  There is plenty of suspense from this elephant in the book, but it was not this plot line that frightened me.  I was most afraid of how Rose changed while she lived in the Jackson-Hyman house.  She was a young bride whose own mother had left her, and Rose absorbed Shirley's energies, as well as the miasma of the house itself.  For me, the climax of the book was when Rose finally succumbed, much like Eleanor to Hill House, to the ghosts and horrors of her temporary home.  Rose became part of what was bad, ugly and wrong in the house and within two highly intelligent, dramatically charged and fatally entwined people.

The ending was full of irony and wisdom; Rose's transformation in the book is tangible, but not in a decrepit or stale way.  She has grown, as all humans do, through hardship and hurt.  Rose's character is very much a foil to the Ozymandias that was Shirley Jackson, broken and forgotten too soon.(Though really, Shirley's writing has certainly kept her alive!)  Instead of living in a haunted house, Rose moves on, and find where joy abides.  It was a thought-provoking, dark and eerie book.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Two and Twenty Dark Tales

It's been a long time since I have blogged, but in that span of time, life certainly did not stop.  I've been working and reading, and cooking and caring for my family.  I have had stacks of books piled up for reviews; between Library Media Connection, SOYAMRG, NetGalley and Penguins First Reads Program, there never seems to be a time when I don't have obligatory reading to do.  Not that I am complaining...but maybe I am. I am finally reading a book right now that I want to read - Donald Ray Pollock's The Devil all The Time which has been on my to-read shelf for about 8 months.  I am excited to read this - it sounds dark and suspenseful and that's the way I like my books.  I just finished reading Philip Reeve's Predator City quartet - Mortal Engines, Predator's Gold, Infernal Devices and On a Darkling Plain.  These are fantastic books - new classics and I was absolutely weepy at the end of the series.  But, I spent a long time in that Steampunk world, and my brain was craving some new setting.

 Two and Twenty Dark Tales was a switch, but not the one I really wanted.  This is a NetGalley download published by Month9Books, and is marketed as a charity anthology of dark retellings of Mother Goose Rhymes.  I was most pleased with the publisher - this is their first release and they will donate the proceeds from the sale of the first 5,000 books to a charity they love.  In fact, this title is the first in a series of annual charity anthologies to be released.  It is refreshing to see this act of charity in a publishing world that seems to be dominated by greed for money.  I am not ignorant;  I know that money makes the publishing world go 'round, but Penguin's attitude about ebooks and libraries can be called nothing but selfish.  So, bravo, Month9Books and Georgia McBride on your debut.  I am looking forward to future publications.

The book is delivers just what it promises to in its title.  Mother Goose nursery rhymes serve as the inspiration for dark and fantastic short stories for young adult readers.  There are to be 22 tales in the final publication, but this ARC had only 21 total.  There were some extended versions of stories not included, as well as a poem.  Several of the stories stand out to me, while others left me as soon as I finished.  The first story in the book, "As Blue as the Sky and Just as Old" by Nina Berry was an excellent start to the anthology and was inspired by the nursery rhyme about Taffy the Welshman.  I'm a real sucker for Welsh words - there's just something about all those y's that is pure poetry to me.  But this story really captured the retelling or even the real telling of this nursery rhyme.  So many seemingly childish rhymes are in reality based on dark and grim events and folklore.  Berry's story of timeless search for three disguised objects and the evil forces that seek them is deliciously frightening with enough magic glimmering at the edges to keep it light. It was well-developed with just enough back story to make the plot interesting and characters believable.  On the other hand, "Pieces of Eight" by Shannon Delany and Max Scialdone was overly developed for a short story.  There was too much to accomplish - an entire quest- in one short story and I found myself overwhelmed and eventually uninterested in this retelling of the nursery rhyme Sleep, Baby, Sleep.  The authors might want to consider writing a novel based on this short story in order to include the full quest plot and  character development.

"Wee Willie Winkie" by Leigh Fallon and "Life in a Shoe" by Heidi R. Kling are two stories that should be developed into novels.  The setting of each story were unique and beg to be developed fully.  Voice was strong in each as well, and I found myself wanting to know more about the females narrators in these two dark tales.  Also satisfying were "The Wish" by Suzanne Young and "A Ribbon of Blue" by Michelle Zink. These two stories managed to catch me by surprise and deliver an element I wasn't expecting.

Overall, the book is entertaining and a treat for anyone who loves nursery rhymes.  This will be a great addition to school libraries and will be perfect for readers who like their stories short and sweet.  It is a solid first publication for Month9Books.



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Summer Heat

We made it through the 4th of July blast - temperatures in the high 90's and low 100's here in the Midwest.  It was miserable.  I finally gave in and turned on my A/C.  I hate being shut in during the summer months.  I grew up in a big old house that had electric heat for the winter and some 20 year old fans for the summer.  One fan was made in the late 30's, probably.  I kid you not - heavy, wood encased dark metal blades.  In other words, I am used to temperature inconvenience.  My best childhood memories are of nights scorching hot where my sisters and I would sleep at the ends of our beds in order to be closer to the breeze from our box fan.  Inevitably, sometime in the night, the temperature would drop and I would crawl to the head of the bed, and pull a sheet over me to deter the chill.  Bliss.

Middle age brings the need for comfort, however.  Night times are the worst for sweating, I have found.  Air conditioning is the savior for those uncomfortable muggy evenings when not a breath of air is moving through the windows. Reading in bed is one of my favorite things to do, so a cool evening is appreciated.  My latest read came from Penguin First Reads.  City of Women by David R. Gillham is a WWII story set in Berlin in 1943.  All the men are gone - either burned up in ovens or fighting the battle against the Russians.  Sigfrid lives with her mother-in-law while her husband fights on the front.  She works in the patent office and appears to be an honorable German hausfrau  doing her part for the Motherland.  In truth, however, she is an adulteress who has had an affair with a Jew named Egon.  The beginning of the book centers on this relationship and with Sigfrid's self absorption as she deals with his recent disappearance.  Strewn with glimpses at Sigfrid's sad childhood and her lonely adult existence, the book allows readers to see the motives for the protagonist.  She is not a likeable character, but by the end of the book, she has added layers and matured to become a believable and complex woman who makes choices no longer based on her wants and needs.  Her involvement with the illegal hiding of Jews complicates her life in numerous ways, which leads to death, betrayal and finally redemption. 

This was an excellent book and I am glad that it was part of the Penguin First Reads program as it is not a book I would have committed to otherwise.  I no longer seek Holocaust literature, though it will certainly haunt me forever.  But this book was more than just a story of the underground railroad for Jews.  It was the story of a woman who like a slim wick dipped over and over in hot wax, developed into a candle with the possibility of light.  This will be a great discussion book, and one that will stay with me for a while.  Complex and sad, it is not a beach book, but it was a cool spot during the summer heat for me.

Monday, June 18, 2012

One Moment

A couple of years ago, I was fortunate enough to meet author Kristina McBride at a Librarian's Luncheon at a local JVS.  She talked about her first book, The Tension of Opposites and about her inspiration for the book.  Her book sounded intriguing and the explanation of her process was so helpful, that I took notes and actually followed through on her advice.  I wrote about two chapters of that book I have always wanted to write before I lost focus yet again.  I haven't looked at it in about a year, but reading McBride's second book One Moment inspires me once again to work on that book.

When I met Kristina, it wasn't her presentation that intrigued me.  It was the discussion we had after the presentation.  My mother had just been diagnosed with dementia and I was somewhat overwhelmed that day.  I was talking to the host of the luncheon, an old friend, and Kristina became part of the dialogue.  I found her to be one of those people that I instantly click with, one who is easy to talk to, real in her approach and downright likeable.  We found each other on Facebook and have kept in touch over the last two years.  I have kept up with the writing of One Moment and have eagerly waited to read this book.  When it finally was available on Net Galley, I immediately downloaded it and read it in one day.  It is a great book, and one I think will establish Kristina as a well-known young adult writer. This is a book that teens will seek out for its subject and for its realistic take on adolescent emotions and concerns.  In other words, Kristina nailed it. 

The book is the story of a group of friends in a small town in Ohio (based on Yellow Springs) who face a great loss and must deal with the realities that arise as a result.  Beginning with action, One Moment never loses that initial pace.  Readers will not find rest until the final pages of the book when the resolution leads them just where they knew it should. There are no real twists in this book;  I could see what was coming all along.  However, Kristina's writing is strong enough to make me connect fully with the characters, especially Maggie.  Realistic dialogue and intuitive teenage actions combine to create a strong emotional tie for readers - even one who is 40 years old.  I imagine adolescents will identify even more with the feelings and thoughts of the characters as they encounter painful truths and realities that will shatter life as they knew it.  Overall, the books seems tautly composed and cleanly written.  It is Kristina's style that makes this book a winner, and I will highly recommend it to my friends and library patrons. 

As a reviewer, I have to conclude by saying this book is a necessity for YA libraries.  As a friend, I have to conclude by saying, "Bravo!"

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Books Are Our Friends

 I know I am not the only one who experiences something in life, and thinks, "Oh, this is just like when so and so in such and such book did this.."  Good books are not over when the last page has been read; good characters last despite the ending of a series.  I am often reminded of Nick Carraway watching that light and thinking of Gatsby's life...beating against the current.  Aren't we all in some way or another?  Good books are going to capture those moments that are ubiquitous and real.  I am often borne back into the past, even if it isn't the way to move on in life.  I just can't help it. 

Life is challenging right now, even more so than usual for me.  I have some tough realities to face, but face them I must.  I have lots of family and friends to get me through, and I am so very grateful for that.  I also have books, and I know I will bring them with me into any challenge.  I wonder how much I will think of Michelle Cooper's Montmaray Journals series when I think back to this period of time in my life.  It is very apropos, to be sure, for anyone who has grown and changed, loved and loss, looked back and looked forward.  Sophie's story is not unique in theme.  Despite a made-up country, her story is anyone's.   I love this series, and the characters have always felt more like friends to me than like fictional characters.  The Montmaray Journal, The Fitzosbornes in Exile, and The Fitzosbornes at War are books in a series that is overshadowed by showier, more dramatic series.  The writing, characterization and development in this series is far superior to that of many other series.  I hope the general public discovers them.

I have a happy memory of when my kids were little and we first moved into the house where we live now, but won't be for much longer.  The boys were 5 and three, and they ran across the yard to a fence that separated our property from the neighbor's.  I had been afraid that we would not like living so close to others, that this new house wouldn't suit our needs.  But as I watched them race across the grass and climb the white fence, my fears were put to rest.  I remember it along with the end of the final book about the Fitzosbornes, as Sophie remembers her sister Henry racing along the beach, her beloved dog at her side.  "That is just like when the boys ran to the fence,"  I thought.  Good books last like good memories. 

My NetGalley review is below.




Michelle Cooper's third and final installment in the Montmaray Journals series is a much more mature and sophisticated book than the previous two.  It is to be expected, however.  In The FitzOsbornes at War, Sophie, Veronica, Toby, Henry and Simon grow considerably since they were introduced to us in the first book, with years passing and wars brewing.  Not only have the Fitzosbornes aged, but they have faced grim realities:  the occupation of Montmaray by Nazis, the rationing of food and supplies, the bombing of London, and the entanglement in a war by all ages and genders.  Toby and Simon join the RAF, Henry becomes a WREN, Veronica works as a translator, and Sophie writes propaganda for the British Food office.  Even Aunt Charlotte does her part for the war effort, trying to outdo her rival Lady  Bosworth in monies collected for charities.  The books spans the five long years of WWII, and is again told in the form of Sophie's journal entries, letters and articles.  The naive Sophie has a much wiser voice in this final book, but she stays true to character, and is an excellent storyteller.  Readers will weep with the FitzOsbornes as they experience loss, and rejoice as they reach victory.  Cooper does not spare the family from the war; readers should be ready for a realistic look at how it changes people and places forever.  Each member of the royal family will be altered in some way while fighting the war and finding the way to return to the beloved island of Montmaray.  Cooper's final book in the series is a satisfying ending to a story full of characters who are more like friends, and a plot that will last in memory.   Readers who have faithfully followed this underappreciated series will remember Sophie, Veronica, and the others and think, "I wonder what she is doing now?''  Well-crafted, this final book is a victory for Cooper and a must-read for fans.  

Uh oh! Printing mistakes happen! Read Chapter 7!

If your copy of The Fullington Road Monster has duplicate content for chapters 6 and 7, you can read the missing chapter below!  Chapter 7 ...